I moved to TX a few years ago from southern CA and I am just now beginning to except the subtleties of my surroundings and the unique opportunities it has to offer on April 15 I had set out on a fishing trip/opportunity to collect spring flowers for my newly constructed flower press. I am new to nature and am amazed by the flora surrounding me and while poison ivy is abound I carefully slip through a neatly cleared path back along the winding creek and I notice these extraterrestrial looking plants with almost unnaturally long looking stem and then at the top of this reactor coolant green drumstick sits a papery bud that seems as though its size should cause the whole thing to bow and break but it does not. Now I am driven in desperation to find an open pod and see what magic is inside this natural curiosity but I’ve wasted daylight pulling the pre-spawning sand bass gorged with eggs from the water and now the setting sun has me in a race to find the answer to this mystery. I can’t push my luck any longer I’ve got to start heading back to the truck or I will inevitably stumble into the poison ivy clinging to all the trees and creeping across the path in the dark so begrudgingly I make it out to the clearing and while I searched with a flashlight all the way out I found nothing. I reach vehicle with my stringer full of as many fish as I can carry but inconsolably distraught at my lack of findings I load up my catch and start the truck ready to make the bumpy trek back out to the road. I turn on my headlights and what do I see? It’s my elusive pods… Sprouted!! in this other worldly looking blossom of glossy blood red semi buds at the base and coming from them swirling and twisting green shoots witch appear to have more buds at their ends which have yet to bloom…and into what; Infinite shoots and buds? With my snips handy I decimate a small patch cutting stem after stem until I have a thick bouquet of mars flowers. I place them inside the small Styrofoam cup with water in my cup holder and set out. I realize I need to stop for gas and will have to close my tackle box to get rid of the strange bad smell that must surely (I think) be coming from the catfish bait. I stop my car next to the pump and roll down the windows as the smell is starting to make me ill. I check the box but its closed I check my fish in their bag but they are still alive and upset but have no odor to speak of. Then I realize! The only other thing I have brought into my truck is the Martian flowers…Could it be? I scoop up my container and examine my find…as I take hold of the papery skin of the bud and bring it to my nose I suddenly realize what I must surely be holding is nothing more than some sort of wild onion. And oh how oniony it was! I placed the carcasses of my slaughtered flora into a small car trash bag and pull the ties tight and knot it to try and contain the stench but the furry of this smell refuses to be contained and is making me so sick having the windows down going 70 does not help at all. So in desperation to make it home without succumbing to car sickness I pull over and dump the wild onions bodies in an unmarked grave on the side of the 380 HW. When I arrive at home the sickness has not yet left me and I feel like absolute crap until I take a hot shower brush my teeth and finish a cup of peppermint tea for dinner! The next day I look online to hopefully confirm my suspicion of the genus of my foe and surely enough it is the culprit. My suggestion to anyone reading this is that if you stumble across this bazaar flora take a picture if you have a camera if not let it alone and if this surely vigorous crop were to arise suddenly in my yard I would unmercifully rip it life from stem out of my soil and try to cover up any trace of it ever having existed there with something very sweet and sturdy enough to be sure it would smother any recurrent growths so I would never have to taint my garden tools with its foulness ever again!

Youknowwho